All is going to be just well

This is in the middle of the night, in Makassar just a day after I completed my 2023 europe trip.

I cant sleep, my body seems confused on what things to do in this 1:05am Makassar time.

I know I have to write something just to make me a little bit sleepy and start to sleep, then I opened up the notes on my phone in which I found a writing draft of things I knew i needed to write but it was stopped in the core of the story. I even asked my self “What was I going to write?” It seems important, valuable but I was just stop and I forget. So sad.

So then, I dont want that to happen again in this writing. I just want to write before I forget, before I die. 

This is Makassar, a city that said a lot our journey, wkwkwk (maybe actually it is only my journey or my perspective towards you wkwkwk) 

I ever wrote it was in the middle of city I barely knew and the things I barely knew happened and I did not know what to do wkwkw. I just wanted to be nice, but I was also sad actually cause things did not run as I expected. Suddenly since then, that moment in Makassar is becoming one of my top insecurities problem than can trigger me any time. I am so sorry. I am still digesting many perspectives on that moment, hopefully that I can let things go….. hopefully, soon, sooner.

I am telling you that the moment I landed in Makassar and read your text saying that you were confused and scared was the moment I felt heartbroken too. I started to shed my tear while I was standing in the aisle to get out of the plane, I even asked myself why am I crying? But it was so sad (I am crying right now). I said sorry to you that I was not there with you, I meant it, cause I know how it feels to be feeling lost and scared and noone is beside you. I am so sorry, bebi🥹

I know you are scared right now, you are full of regret and start to overthink everything with bunch of whatifs in your head. This is the most uncomfortable feel, I know😭

Right now at 1:28am I realized that you are not sleeping right know, cause you just saw my message in instagram 12 minutes ago😭 I know you cant sleep because you overthink, bebi, I am praying right now for you to have a good rest, be motivated after it, just like everyday and taking away those worries and whatifs in your head. Yallah ya tuhan, please tenangkaaaaan bebi akoo.😭😭

It was just a moment like me last year, yeees It was soooo haaard and tiring, and I took  antidepressant just to have sleep. I dont want this happen to you. You can sleep, just have a deeeeeeep breeeeathh to start, honey.

Everything is just going all riight, bebi. You are always doing right, all the things you have been done and through is just being completed so bright! Everyone said so! And this will be just another one of it!!! Seriously! 

I am with you and you are and everything is going just well. 

In hale, ex haaale, this time is the time to rest and after you rest, you rise!

1:47 am Makassar Time

Maidina missing and praying for someone she loves.