So it is me now who is not human, it can be me.

I lost, I completely lost.

I hate people, I hate this system of power and I hate people who only care about themselves. I hate a specific yes... two people-- a pair maybe.

I found that most of the time why all they care about is themselves. I got so angry because of their comments on things, that I thought "you are not supposed to say that kind of thing, it is never about you, it is always the system, you should say things toward the system, don't publish your personal view, especially when you are privileged etc etc" while teasing them "you both can never be strategic, you two always put yourselves first" 

I hate the way these two communicate, to me it is so weird, full of drama and scolding, and envy. I asked myself "how can you that envy to each other? and say that kind of thing?" 

I felt so right to question that. Then I realise, maybe it is part of ourselves, to envy, and to be that envy. At least they are two being honest to each other. Then, everything goes well with that honesty. We can never be all the time for other people, what is true, most of the time maybe we care to other as it is once interrelated to our interests. 

 So it is me now who is not human, it can be me. be honest, that is all, mai.