Why am I still worshiping to Him?

It's not so easy for me to stick worshiping to Allah as I am surrounded by people who dont do that. They even mock me like “you still perform salah?” lol, I responded laughing. I just dont know why people dont perform her/his religion's practical of worshiping at the time they claim that they bound themselves into a particular religion. I'm not going to judge or anything since I just dont know why, maybe about belief, priorities or anything else. I dont intend to put any sentiment toward them cause it's not a factor to determine what people could be my friends, their attitudes do. As long as they're open for any discussion without being abusive, being supportive and appreciative, does it make me legit to judge them? How can I form a horizontal relationship between human only based on their vertical deed they do which doesn't directly affect our relation? (isnt it not apple to apple, right?) 

But for me, I am sharing that I just dont find any reason not to worshiping to Allah. and I have reasons why.

On my turmoil stage I used to think that everything is under control, I can rely everything on my conduct, I can predict what things would happen since I have control the causalities, I would be like that if I am doing this. But then, something happened, I heard the news my neighbor died because he fell down from a motorcycle at the time he got cancer for 5 years, It was supposed to be his cancer which cause his death, right???

My best friend got liver problem when he had no any record of alcohol or subtances use, he kept asking me why and why he. My very best friend broke his legs by a motorcycle accident at his very peaked career life, he lost his jobs and missed so many job interviews and other opportunities due to his quite long medical treatment, he used to be so healthy, there's no any history of him being sick for a long time and he was really brilliant at his academic performance, then why this could happen to him?

My really close friend from my previous office all of sudden lost her one and only sister after her mom and dad got sick and died. I knew her and her sister in person, I was just touched seeing them support each other after their parents' death, I witnessed they passed the Eid, they invited us to come to enjoy the feast they two cooked. I saw how nice they were and thought It would be hard for them to get along with upcoming days, but I knew they would support each other (I imagined the day they build their respective family, at least they can celebrate Eidwith a bigger family). But all of sudden a terrible thing just came, I read a message saying her sister passed away on her work trip, I just felt massed up at first, asking my other friend whether the news is wrong, and I was wrong, she did, she died. I cant hold myself not to cry while I hug her, I feel awful, I was supposed to be the one who cheer her up but I just cried. 

Then is everything really under our control?

Everything seems doesnt make sense, sometimes I can lose my sanity seeing how horrible things that come around. I can get angry and scolded at anything that pissed me off but then it doesnt change anything. at this part, the only thing I could rely on is my belief in the Divine, Allah. I know maybe out there, there are so many claims saying that having a religion and belief toward invisible thing makes you stupid or anything, I cant handle that kind of thought, but I can share my own magic experiences. Every time I failed everything I can rationalize it by saying "it doesnt happen to be yours" "it's not your time yet" "Allah must have a better plan for you" and so on, for some of you maybe it sounds so stupid and depressed, but…. It’s the only rationalization for me to still alive, my belief makes me firm enough to keep moving forward from every loss I experienced. And it does! Magic happened on me, (remember I ever shared my story about being able to finish my thesis and got a job immediately, It was the result of my trust on Allah that He’s gonna make everything is well for me, and it did. Some other magic does happen to me, always.

I ever cried all night long cause I was afraid of an exam, then I prayed hard asking Allah to open up my mind, make ease for every question written and make them are the things I know, and voila! I passed the exam. There are so many times I really took time to pray and worship to Allah and I felt relieved but I’m just a human, sometimes when everything seems so well for a long time, I started neglecting my prayer, I didn’t perform salah properly, I didn’t do charity, I started scolding at my mom, I approached doing forbidden things, and I followed my lust and ego. When that things came, bad things constantly happened.

I failed my job interview as a research assistant in a very well-known authority board in Indonesia at the time I feel so confident, they already offered me the pay amount (which is so good) and they say I can work immediately, they would inform about the result, and wow! I failed. I initially didn’t find any reason why it was not for me, at least there was no rational reason I thought. I started thinking over and over and Allah reminded me. The day before the announcement I neglected to pray, I called a boy (which it was not things Allah want me to do) ask him to go out, and so on so on, since I feel confident about the interview I said “If its for me, then Its for me, Allah must know why I’m doing this, He can understand” I really said these word to my God and look what happened. Astagfirullah.

I almost had been a victim of a telephone scam impersonating a provider officer saying I won prize. It was really common right? But I just didn’t know why I followed every directions the scammer said, the time I was already in front of ATM machine already pressing every numbers he said, I realized I almost transfer all of my credit to his account and I ended the call immediately, It was so close! My hand just shaking, I cant breath, I was grateful it didn’t happen. I started thinking over and over and Allah reminded me. It was my payday two days before it happened, I gained my salary (which unfortunately not much), I started worrying and complaining would it be enough for my month-spend and I neglect to do charity, as I said I want to save. And then the hell scammer came. Astagfirullah.

Those are a little example of my worshiping experiences, I said it was magic. And magic happened to me. Since I pray and worship to Allah, everything seems under control, and I know what to do and feel better. And I know it is a personal thing. I cant force people to pray and worship, I don’t know why people don’t do it. But I can share my experience that

Magic happens on me while I’m worshiping to Allah, that’s why I am still worshiping to Him.

Maybe you just don’t find your magic yet^^